


Where's My Love?

by btsinsomniac



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, From Simon's point of view, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Lungs, Pining, Protective Simon Snow, Simon misses Baz, SnowBaz, This made me so emotional... i cried, wayward son is coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-16 03:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17541602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btsinsomniac/pseuds/btsinsomniac
Summary: Simon doesn't know where Baz is and it makes him feel like he can't breathe.





	Where's My Love?

Simon couldn't help but think about his last year at Watford. He hadn't been able to stop tossing and turning in his bed. It was strange not having Baz in the other bed. Every year when Simon got back from whatever orphanage the Mage had sent him for the summer Baz was always there when he opened the door. 

The familiar silhouette with sharp edges and silky black hair that framed his face, his violin case that usually leaned at the corner of his bed and the bergamot & cedar scent that usually lingered after Baz took a shower; they were all gone. 

He was worried not even his friends knew where he was and nobody had been asking questions. Outside of the music practice room where he used to wait for him instead of the melody of his violin stood a deafening silence. He had worried himself sick. Unable to sleep. Restless and airless. Looking everywhere Baz was supposed to be, when those places turned out empty he didn't stop looking.

When Baz got back he felt something missing was suddenly there. He could suddenly breathe.

That thought didn't last long. Baz quickly felt too far, turning and hiding away with his own thoughts in the forest. Simon's breathing was difficult again.

The world had suddenly caught fire and all he could think about was that he needed to kiss him.  
He did kiss him again and again. He had Baz under his hands, safe, where he knew nobody could hurt him and his lungs felt full. He had Baz exactly where he wanted him and he wasn't going to let go.

When Penny and Agatha had taken him away he felt like someone was hitting his chest. Because Baz was not fine, he had been in a coffin for six weeks and the thought made his breath stutter.

He couldn't help but frantically run towards him knowing that he had been hurt that he had almost lost him before knowing he felt this way that they had both felt this way.

He needed Baz to not forget this feeling, to know he was okay. He ran until his lungs hurt and he was covered in snow and muck, until he reached him and his lungs stopped hurting.

He had killed the mage but finally everyone was safe. The world of Mages was safe from himself. Between sobs he could hear Baz's voice telling him everything would be alright. He held on to him and made himself carry on even if he had to breathe amidst the tears and fears of the future.

Tonight, even though some years have passed; Baz is in his arms and under his hands. Sometimes he sleeps fitfully when the night is completely dark without the moon and stars and all he can do is hold him. He can breathe easily now. He knows where Baz is and he won't let anyone hurt him.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this tweet by Rainbow: https://twitter.com/rainbowrowell/status/1088085240747384834?s=09


End file.
